My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
