So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
