I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I love you. Go after that dick
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
