it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
