I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
