My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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