Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
