Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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