Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
