508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
