Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
