I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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