the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
