Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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