jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
