You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
