I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
