69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
