your room smells of hookers.
And success
that's an acceptable place to lick
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
