tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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