You smell like stripper and shame
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
