I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Vodka?
Forever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
