Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
