My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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