i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
