marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
