Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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