Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
