Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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