ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
