Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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