Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
