Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
