So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The adults are the big ones right?
I have post one night stand depression
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
