There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
