My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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