I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize