I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
