I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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