I got chris browned last night
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize