i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
