You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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