Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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