"it" just moved
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
