He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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