dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
