Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
