he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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