i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
