idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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