Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
