sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
