I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
