I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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