I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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