What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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